Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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