just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize