i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Boobs speak an international language.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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