Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize