bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize