some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
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