Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
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Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
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I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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