I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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