Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize