Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize