He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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