also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize