There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
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Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
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I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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