I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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