If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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