Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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