So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
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So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
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well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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