Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.

(713): View more from Texas

I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Texas should really raise its teaching standards.

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(713): Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party. (713): I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over. (832): Texas should really raise its teaching standards. http://tfl.nu/yy08

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(972): View more from Texas

If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.

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(972): If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works. http://tfl.nu/grey

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.

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(215): The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room. http://tfl.nu/3nsa

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(313): View more from Michigan

while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.

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(313): while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up. http://tfl.nu/p2q9

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(630): View more from Illinois

Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.

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(630): Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night. http://tfl.nu/wu2q

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(937): View more from Ohio

Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?

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(937): Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes? http://tfl.nu/r1tf

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(416): View more from Toronto

Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?

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(416): Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time? http://tfl.nu/chq4

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid

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(405): I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid http://tfl.nu/bd90

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(850): View more from Florida

My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?

(1-850): View more from Florida

It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?

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(850): My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans? (1-850): It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it? http://tfl.nu/e1h9

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(813): View more from Florida

Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.

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(813): Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom. http://tfl.nu/y5hs

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(647): View more from Ontario

so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.

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(647): so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together. http://tfl.nu/0wgb

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(914): View more from New York

Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off

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(914): Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off http://tfl.nu/fxgn

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(775): View more from Nevada

I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing

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(775): I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing http://tfl.nu/nqjl

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?

(1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.

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(306): whoa! who said he's my boyfriend? (1-306): Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina. http://tfl.nu/k1yy

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(303): View more from Colorado

WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?

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(303): WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING? http://tfl.nu/q4gt

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