yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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