If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Drunk walkin through police station. America
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize