He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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