I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize