So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
try to milk me bitch
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