Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
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The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
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If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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