So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize