I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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