my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
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Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
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Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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