but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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