I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
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the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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