omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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