Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize