I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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