I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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