The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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