i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
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You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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