So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
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my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
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I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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