plz talk dirty to me
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
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I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He felt like a one man threesome
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
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I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I supernannyed him into submission
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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