I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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