new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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