ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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