yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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