my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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