Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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