At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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