it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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