I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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