The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize