i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize