it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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