Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
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